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FRANTIC MINDFULNESS

in this first version of the implementation of the story that we wrote, i focused on the frantic part of it. I performed it in the rest room in the basement of the school. This room symbolized my mind. it was a visual translation of what happens inside of me/my head. Seemingly "nice", trying very hard to find balance and peace, but being totally and extemely chaotic, frantic and restless from the inside. It visualizes the prison of my mind.

the soundtracks you hear are the several stimuli that are going on inside my head. the first one is the extremely overshadowing noise that is symbol for the restlessness and bustle inside me. the second are my thoughts. the third are my gestures. and the fourth is my counterpart in the story. the 5th "track" is live speech in response to the counterpart. these tracks together shows everything that is going on in my mind. Together with the content of the text - the frantic gestures and the divine knowledges - it shows the pardoxality of what i want and am trying to reach (enlightenment) and how it actually is (chaos).

i want to be this enlightened being, like how the room looks no neat, but actually am so panicky and distressed, like how the room makes you feel. it makes you feel like this though the kind of weird smell, weird lights, pitched sound, and the windows up above. in this way, the room feels more like a prison. this prison is my mind.